found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
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