last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
