Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
