Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
