don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Bring me that man meat
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Couch. On fire.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
