Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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