I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
