i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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