so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
