Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I'm sobbing to NWA
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
