Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
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