They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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