Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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