sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Randomize
