Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Randomize
