did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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