Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
