Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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