Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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