Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize