i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
