Someone shit on the floor
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
