VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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