My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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