Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
