i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize