I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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