so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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