We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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