I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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