I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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