I looked at my own cervix.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
