I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Randomize
