I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
did you just send me my own nude
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Nobody cheats on THIS.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
