We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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