I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
