...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
