It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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