i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
Randomize
