He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
