I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Randomize
