I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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