Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Found your dick twin last night
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
