Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
