Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
