I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
