Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
