why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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