It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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