"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
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