Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
