how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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