My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
