Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
