Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
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