Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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