Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
