i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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