Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
