so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I have peed in a lot of sinks
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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