I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
