oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
