Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Randomize
