so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
