I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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