and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
