The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
